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How to avoid caring too much about other people’s opinions

master three kinds of cognition, you will become more and more confident How to avoid caring too much about other people’s opinions

1. People who care too much about other people’s opinions often fall into the trap of automatic thinking

Psychology has an ABC theory of emotions. This theory tells us that anything happens is neutral. People who are optimistic and positive are used to interpreting them from an optimistic perspective, so they will become more and more cheerful; while people who care too much about other people’s opinions will become more and more cheerful. , they are often used to thinking that others are talking about themselves, and this over-interpretation has caused their own interpersonal troubles.

Teacher has a classic saying, dear, there is no one else out there, only yourself. We care about what other people think, and we are often caught in an automated thinking trap ourselves.

In this trap, we think that we are always not doing well, or we think that the other party is a villain, so others will talk too much about us, which makes us more pessimistic.

How to avoid caring too much about other people's opinions
How to avoid caring too much about other people’s opinions

2. We are not as important as we think

From the perspective of cognitive psychology, if we need to get rid of the troubles of interpersonal relationships and don’t want to care too much about other people’s opinions, we need to learn to change our thinking, that is, we are not as important as we think. Sometimes we care about what other people think, often because we take ourselves too seriously.

For example, when some people give a speech on stage, they often think that they are important, so they will be very nervous. If we think that we are not that important, maybe we can relax and start to speak slowly.

I remember one time I fell in the cafeteria and I felt embarrassed and thought a lot of people were laughing at me. In fact, it was only after I studied cognitive psychology that I realized that I took myself too seriously.

For example, when some people give a speech on stage, they often think that they are important, so they will be very nervous. If we think that we are not that important, maybe we can relax and start to speak slowly.

I remember one time I fell in the cafeteria and I felt embarrassed and thought a lot of people were laughing at me. In fact, it was only after I studied cognitive psychology that I realized that I took myself too seriously.

How to avoid caring too much about other people's opinions
How to avoid caring too much about other people’s opinions

People come and go in the cafeteria, and everyone cares about their own affairs. Your wrestling is an important thing for you, but it is just a small thing for others.

Therefore, we should not magnify our emotions, but realize our existence from a holistic perspective, and we will not care too much about the opinions of others.

The most important thing for you is to adjust your mentality and think that this is a small matter, not a big one. The most important thing for us is not to magnify our emotions, and you will calmly face your own unhappiness and inelegance .

In life, many small things happen every day. When you know how to look at yourself from a holistic perspective, your heart will become calm and calm, so as to get rid of the influence of those humiliating things.

How to avoid caring too much about other people's opinions
How to avoid caring too much about other people’s opinions

3. Have good boundaries

Too much concern for other people’s opinions is often a habitual reflection of our thinking. For example, when others look a little bad, we think that we did not do well, or that others are not happy, we think that we have offended others and said the wrong thing.

People who care too much about the opinions of others often do not have a good sense of boundaries. Adler once said that everyone needs to be responsible for their own life lessons.

If we care too much about other people’s opinions, we actually take other people’s issues on ourselves, which is why we are so tired.

We need to understand that everyone needs to be accountable to themselves, not to others. When others are unhappy, it is other people’s business, and when others are unhappy, it is also their business. We don’t need to criticize ourselves excessively, and we don’t need to burden ourselves with other people’s unhappiness.

how to stop thinking about others
how to stop thinking about others

The reason why many people have a blurred sense of boundaries has a lot to do with their family of origin when they were young. For example, children who need to look at their parents’ faces since childhood, and whose parents are happy will only be happy themselves, have been burdened with their parents’ emotions since they were young. When they grow up, they will continue to extend this thinking pattern to their current life.

When you understand boundaries and divisions, we can get rid of the influence of our original family on us, and more importantly, we can also get rid of the influence of other people’s emotions on us.

What we need is to learn to take good care of ourselves, to fill our hearts with joy and peace, and the more we see that the influence of others on you will start to be zero

how to stop thinking about others
how to stop thinking about others

4. Develop your own concentration to find balance in relationships

People who care too much about the opinions of others are often people who have no inner strength. In their lives, they always think that they exist in the lives of others.

They don’t have much sense of belonging, so others will become their greatest sense of belonging, and how to get rid of this vassal is the most important thing for us.

We need to understand that everyone is the best version of themselves, that everyone is an individual, and that we need to have confidence in ourselves and respect our own feelings.

People who care about other people’s opinions tend to put their own feelings last and others’ feelings first. In fact, this is putting the cart before the horse.

We need to first learn to respect our own feelings and be aware of our own feelings. For example, because we care too much about other people’s opinions, we are not very good at rejecting, which will cause us to feel tired.

Develop your own concentration to find balance in relationships
Develop your own concentration to find balance in relationships

If you understand that your feelings are also important, you may understand that rejection is the most important lesson in life. Learning to reject is essentially an expression of love for yourself.

Cultivating one’s own concentration does not mean that one doesn’t care about the feelings of others at all. To cultivate one’s own concentration is to know not to take on the responsibility of others too much, but to give appropriate support and help to others within the scope of one’s own ability. will get better and better.

Develop your own concentration to find balance in relationships
Develop your own concentration to find balance in relationships

People who care too much about other people’s feelings often consume our enthusiasm for interpersonal relationships, and make us lose sight of what the benefits of interpersonal relationships are.

A truly good relationship is always about giving and receiving, and any excess of giving can overwhelm us.

In interpersonal relationships, we must understand self-respect, and we must also understand that interpersonal relationships are attracted by each other’s value. If we understand this law, maybe you will not always care too much about other people’s opinions, but focus on improving your inner self. value, allowing yourself to have a more stable and continuous relationship in interpersonal relationships.

Everyone may need to understand that we care too much about what others think is a flaw in our thinking. If we understand the sense of value balance in interpersonal relationships, know how to see ourselves with a holistic view, and know how to maintain our own boundaries, we will not be in relationships. Worry about gains and losses, but have your own peaceful back and deal with the comings and goings of interpersonal relationships.

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